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I mentioned in a previous post that I’m not an actual people manager despite the word "manager" being in my job title. Nonetheless, I am personally responsible and accountable for "getting things done". So how does one get things done without explicit organizational authority? It turns out to not be terribly difficult; you just need to have a few tricks at your disposal.

As a person named Blair myself, I’ve found that having an unopened bag of potato chips (aka, crisps) labeled "Blair’s Death Rain" can be a particularly effective tool for getting things done. Much like having an unopened can labeled "Whoop ass", I find that this simple-looking bag of chips helps connote a certain abiding threat level (and perhaps even an authority) well outside the scope of my official organizational role.

It might (or might not) help that my potato chips also have the word "Naked" printed on them. I imagine the effect of opening this bag as being something akin to a giant naked blue Viking berserker god hurling hammers and steaming basalts at anything that lies in its path. Not a bad image for someone without explicitly hiring and firing authority to promote for themselves.

I haven’t yet opened my bag of Death Rain, despite its printed expiration date. My official reason for leaving the bag sealed is (of course) that I haven’t yet needed to break it open: The mere threat of opening the bag has so far been sufficient for my purposes. But of course part of me also just doesn’t want to test the theory: I’d hate to open the bag to find not a lava-hurling lord of Valhalla but a few simple, tasty, if somewhat stale, potato chips. I shudder to think of what might happen were that to be the case.